Naked sweaty bodies piled atop one another in a big nude free-for-all.
Rock star hotel room? Roman orgy?
Nope, ride the north pole, baby: Eskimos in igloos rockin’ the arctic nights.
The first explorers to brave the arctic were amazed by the natives—their diet, dexterity, survival skills… and the way they settled in for a long winter’s nap.
Back in the igloo, escaping the killer winds and freezing cold, the explorers weren’t expecting to see their hosts stripping down naked, laying bare on the bearskin to sleep together in a nude pile of comfiness.
Explorers Shackleton, Amundsen, and others commented how well the natives slept—as they shivered alone to avoid heathen status.
On the opposite side of the globe, the script flips: Christian missionaries weren’t nearly as bashful. When they came to town it was on.
Reputation proceeding, word spread like wildfire throughout Pacific islands. Villagers gathered to see for themselves: two exotic foreigners: man and woman showing up wearing lots of clothes, then standing before them with none at all. Showtime!
Missionary man: “Alright everybody… glad to see such a big turnout. As you know we’re the missionaries, light of God our creator, here to show you how it’s done. As you can see we’re excited to get started… let’s get right down to business in a language every body can understand…”
Beaming in their birthday suits (man on top, of course) hopping between exotic islands of savages, there was no time to learn languages—just room to hit it. Missionaries on a mission: demonstrating with action. Souls needed saving—quickly. I mean, for Christ’s sake these savages were hittin’ it doggystyle—needing to be saved from damnation, fire, and brimstone.
Missionary Man: “If all these public sex demos saved just one soul, it was worth it.”
Missionary Woman, beside him, bows her head with a humble nod.
Christianity spread rapidly and successfully across the Pacific islands.
It took a while longer for the Eskimos to catch on.
